Peaceful Resolution

The Emotional Roller Coaster

It should be easy - but for many couples conceiving a baby is difficult and in some cases impossible.  From the beginning days of trying and wondering why they're not conceiving to the ending days of acceptance after treatment and therapy; the long, bumpy road of fertility treatment has many potholes of emotional crisis along the way. 

Couples go from the initial life altering experience of having great confidence in their abilities to a loss of self esteem when their efforts to conceive are fruitless.  Once they come to grips with that news, they are still engulfed in the emotional roller coaster of fear and anger as their marriage is tossed about with uncertainty and blame.  After evaluating the situation they move forward to treatment and renewed hope of a solution to their pain.  But, as is often the case, the solution is sometimes more painful as fresh emotions rise to the surface. Yet, the couple still has the opportunity to grow together and to use the crisis and pain as a means of development and depth. 

Treatments Are Over - Life Moves Forward

If the treatments have been successful, then the arrival of a new member to the family seems to make everything the couple has endured a hazy memory.  Sometimes the results mean the couple must seek other methods to resolve their infertility.  There are still many emotions accompanying this final step in the process.  After the treatments are over there is an opportunity to reassess and change life goals.  As a couple works toward resolution they come to grips with the truth that there are indeed some things they will never have control over.  A closer relationship with one another can add strength to the healing process as recovery from exhaustion in all areas is experienced.  Relief from mental, physical and financial strain is like a heavy load being lifted.  The couple can breathe again and may have gained a perspective which will enable them to understand others.  Even though some goals are not achieved, life is still fulfilling and the great life lesson that good can come out of difficult and painful experiences is beyond price.

Much To Be Gained Through Acceptance

In moving toward acceptance and resolution, communication remains at the top of the list.  Communication with others who have been successful in finding other ways to deal with their infertility issues can also provide support and guidance for the couple.  More time and energy and a determination to enhance the relationship can draw a couple closer than ever.  There is time to reconnect with friends and family from whom they felt isolated from while going through treatment.   Sometime in the future the couple may decide to venture into the arena of fertility treatment again or, if unsuccessful, consider other options.  Regardless which path they choose, a couple will be able to know they can find a solution and where to look for answers.  They have accepted the current realities and are in control of their decisions for the future.