Infertility Issues in Women
Fertility issues aren't just medical issues. These medical decisions, discoveries and questions are coupled with emotional difficulties and struggles. No one grows up hoping to have fertility issues; most people, however, do have the dream of having children. This isn't even a dream as much as it's an expectation and an assumption. We assume, until proven otherwise, that we have healthy reproductive systems and that we will be able to conceive.
Infertility and Denial
Infertility, therefore, comes as quite a shock. It is very common for women to go through a period of denial. After a great deal of trying and many fertility tests, you will, hopefully, discover what the problem is and how to fix it. This doesn't mean that you won't deal with resentment, frustration and denial. It's very hard to admit that you have a problem and to cope with this realization.
Infertility and Depression
Infertility often causes depression and a feeling of helplessness. While women may seek help with their fertility issues, they will, at times, feel out of control and helpless. This helplessness can cause depression. It is very important, should you feel depressed, to speak to your fertility specialist, social worker or psychologist. You may also want to consider exercise, acupuncture, yoga, or another type of therapeutic therapy to help yourself.
Infertility and Marriage
Many women start to doubt their femininity when they have fertility issues. Creating babies and getting pregnant are tied into femininity for many women. When they aren't able to conceive, they begin to lose some of their self worth and to worry about how their husband sees them. Similarly, if they know that the problem is with their reproductive system, and not with their husband's, they may feel pressure and take the blame. It's very important to keep the channels of communication open with a spouse and to express your feelings as you experience them. You may want to go to therapy together, to exercise together and to do other bonding activities.
Nosy Friends and Family
Another issue that can create difficulties for infertile women is friends and family. While others are often well meaning, they may start to get nosy. People might ask you questions about when you plan to start having kids, and they may make jokes about having children. These are very difficult issues and ones that you should recognize as being very hard. Don't belittle your feelings or your frustration. If you are comfortable doing so, it could be helpful to share your fertility issues with others so that they can be more sensitive. You will have to decide what works best for you. It is very important, however, to understand that you have nothing to be embarrassed about, and that keeping your problems to yourself may inadvertently push others away.
As Your Friends Have Children
It is often very difficult to go through your own fertility issues at exactly the same time in life that your friends are having their children. You may find it very difficult to be around these friends and to run from one baby shower to the next. It is very important to try to be encouraging to your friends and to be there for them, if you can be. They didn't cause your fertility problems, and they are very excited about their pregnancy, new baby, and new life. You also have the right, however, to feel very sad for yourself and to have a difficult time being around people who are having children. You'll need to find some way to balance your frustration and sadness with your friends' excitement in order to maintain your friendships - and to have others supportive of you.
Infertility is a very difficult hurdle for anyone. Infertile women are particularly prone to depression, denial and frustration. It is very important to try to stay on top of your emotions and to let yourself go through your emotions as they arise. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner and work together to deal with this difficult time. Hopefully, with time, you will get through your infertility issues and hold a beautiful baby in your arms!